"Suddenly I see Swamiji’s eyes well up and shed tears." Bakula R Bhayani - Shivanti
This is what Bakula had to say about her experience:
“In the river of emotion, the fire of devotion awakens”
As I walked along the most beautiful river, I felt at peace in my heart. My mind stood still whilst I admired and watched the crystal-clear water cascading along its narrow and winding path, splashing droplets of water on the budding spring flowers. “Oh, how perfect is nature”, being my only thought until words permeated my mind with such bountiful energy that I now find myself sharing these with you......
“In the River of Emotion, The Fire of Devotion Awakens” ...where are these words coming from?
Could it be the same source that whispered “Love All, Serve All “in my ears yesterday?
Was that Shiva?
When I say “Shiva” of course I am referring very fondly to Shivananda Swamiji and this is my personal devotion to him.
I think it is only fair to share a little bit with you about when I met with Shivananda Swamiji. I met swamiji in September 2018. I recall that first meeting as clear as day. Many thoughts crammed my mind and I was carrying a lot of emotional pain. I just needed someone to talk to, someone who would take away all of the sadness that made me numb at times and made me feel so cold, as if I had no feelings of love left.
I have lost my Master, my Guru. My everything has left his body and I do not “hear” him. I Just want to see him and hear him. Why does he not talk to me? I am reciting all my prayers exactly as he taught then why is he ignoring me?
This is my Guru whom I have loved deeply as a brother. He has taken care of my every need and answered all of my prayers when he was in the body.
Now that he has taken samadhi (left his body), I do not hear his voice. This is deep heartbreak for me. I cannot bear this pain which is getting harder to deal with each day.
Why? Why does this happen when someone dies? What happens to them? Where do they go, where has he gone? I just want to understand, I just want to talk to him, please.
My eyes gushing out tears like I have an endless supply.
Suddenly I see Swamiji’s eyes well up and shed tears.
This is it! I have found someone who may understand this sharp pain in my heart.
He understands! I think He gets it. He knows what pain I am holding; please tell me you understand.
Shiva looked deep into my eyes, teary eyed he said “I will help you”.
“How do I know that you will not ignore me?” I ask
“I am here in the body and I will help you!” Swamiji lovingly responds and with these comforting words he takes away the hurt in that moment.
Done!
Since that day I have travelled to many places with Shiva and the group. I have had experiences which I will share later. These will be written in a book which is in the making. It is a book of my experiences with Shivananda Swamiji and will only be complete and released when the divine wills it.
There are no airs or graces about him. Simply down to earth and so lovingly attentive to my question after question. Listening with divine patience whilst I churn out all my pain and tears.
He is pure love, caring and compassionate.
Let me take you with me to India, our recent trip to the Kumbh Mela where I was blessed to have an experience of Shivananda Swamiji’s depth of compassion.
I was feeling a little tired and asked if we can have a “Chai/Tea” break, who can resist chai in India!
We ordered teas and a couple of little children asked Swamiji for chai and biscuits. He looked at these children compassionately sat down with them and with a clean tissue he wiped their runny nose, touched their faces with so much love and then fed them with his own hands. Fed all the children that had by now gathered.
Swamiji made them happy taking selfies with them and smiled and laughed with them.
I have never experienced any Sadhu, guru or master ever wipe a child’s runny nose ever, especially of a child who is begging on the streets.
All this compassion that pours out from Swamiji and so abundantly. He has melted my heart and the hearts of all who come to him.
The Kumbh Mela tea is not the only example. Swamiji has taken care of many children like that on this trip. Children in Shirdi, Varanasi and not just children but whoever is near him will experience his love. Always giving and caring.
I can only share with you what is my truth and my experience. For you to understand even a fraction of Shivananda Swamiji’s Love and Light, you need to meet him personally.
I pray that you do.
God Bless.
Written by Bakula R Bhayani / Shivanti
